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It’s strange that falling on the mercy of Good can also give us strength.

Never have I felt more at the mercy of some entity other than myself (i.e., God, Good, the Universe), but also felt so confident in the outcome. Even if something doesn’t go the way I intended, I am focused on believing that the outcome is for the best. I feel more inclined to put myself out there, to take risks, to pursue dreams or goals, to love and be loved, while also feeling less vulnerable. It is just odd.

Yesterday, I was thinking about fear and how it can function as an armor against love or opportunity. Love isn’t really love when it’s full of fear. We can’t actually experience the full breadth and depth of it with misgivings or hedging our bets against the future. Love can and should be about going all-in with faith in reciprocity, balance, and positive outcomes. And if goes wrong or it’s not reciprocated, it’s a learning exercise knowing that God has something better for us in mind in a faithful life.

I am staying very focused on just walking around, looking around which is a funny way of talking about flow. Flow is the state of engagement occupied by athletes or artists when deeply entrenched in creating or winning, but it’s also, in my view, the state magi, priests, monks, and mystics are seeking to attain or occupy when deep in prayer or meditation. Life is a little easier when just focused on a state of being, when dedicated to turning all our problems over to the care of Good as we understand it, and letting life unfold without fear. 

I have to say, that is a mantra of mine these days. Cognitive change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes significant dedication and practice to overturn deeply entrenched habits. I am saying affirmations to myself all day, basically. I am praying all the time. I meditate, at least for a several minute stretch, several times a day. I am constantly telling myself that God or Good will sort it out and to have faith, and to otherwise focus on the here and now. It’s a lot of work, but it’s better and different and more interesting than being preoccupied by fear. It feels much more promising and hopeful.