Would you like fries with that?

Two years ago, when I read The Universe Has Your Back by Gabby Bernstein, it broke open a world of opportunity in terms of faith. But I must confess that my faith has been quite selfish and scatterbrained, perhaps because I, too, have been selfish and scatterbrained. I think probably everyone starts out that way when it comes to faith. We’re like kids when they are told they can have anything in a candy store, we just grab at all the riches, praying for everything anyone has ever wanted, not paying attention to what we actually might need. I have had so many prayers answered, only to have them bite me in the BLEEP. 

Bernstein calls this “manic manifesting,” where we’re just desperate to have things we want, so we focus all our energy on it, and God being God (or Good being Good) actually does deliver, but we’re still lacking in faith and still so unsure of ourselves that it’s not good enough or right or it still doesn’t work out. Real faith, real intention, real manifestation is when we start praying for the highest good for all. I’m starting to get there, but Lawd, it hasn’t been easy. I think once my prayers started being answered and it only lead to more pain, I started to accept that I really should not be in charge. I would much rather focus on the life I envision in a vague but hopeful way, pray for the highest good for all, and see what God delivers. 

Don’t get me wrong, this BLEEP is hard. It’s like next level faith, where we have enough belief that we are worthy of Good things and God’s attention, so we are willing to sit still and have patience and see if God conjures up something even better or more exciting than our little brains have the capacity for. But, if you’re coming from a place of trauma or scarcity like I am, the fear is so powerful, the concerns so overwhelming, it’s easy to get involved and get meddling and start praying for the closest solution at hand. 

The Universe, Good, God responds to our requests, I assure you. The most important part of having faith is belief that what we focus on and imagine in our lives will actually be delivered, just by virtue of our participation and involvement. Hence the adage, Be careful what you wish for.

A-BLEEPING-MEN. 

I have not been careful about what I wish for. I have gotten too many prayers answered, and honestly, some of the results have been soul crushing and they almost killed my faith. I found myself mired in those classic fears and doubts, like: 

Why would God do this to me? 

How can there be a God if I am in so much pain?

If there really was anything to believe in, this wouldn’t have happened. 

In reality, the trouble many people have with faith is they don’t realize how much agency a good, hearty prayer can give us. Put our hands together and ask for something, and I can’t tell you how many times it has shown up for me. Many people believe Good or God or the Universe is just a field of energy, therefore what we focus on, bad or good, arrives in our lives through the laws of “attraction.” I try to shy away from too much talk about manifesting, because I think for the fearful person it can make us worry about how much power we have to make our lives even worse. 

I actually do believe in manifesting. I can’t possibly NOT at this point, given how much God has given me in my life. This is why I spend so much time on positive self-talk, and reading about optimism and positive psychology. Our brains shape our world, no question. 

What I’m saying here is that a prayer can be answered, and still not be what we actually need in life. There are short-term prayers, like Please help me get X job or I really need a partner who does Y and then there are long-term prayers, which are more like I feel ready and worthy of love, so please send me my soul mate when the time is right or Show me the path to my true calling. This is what Bernstein means about praying for the highest good. We know what we need and how it feels, but the details don’t actually matter as much when we are full of faith. In fact, it may show a lack of faith if we try to hand pick an object of desire, be it a job or a person, rather than waiting to see what God is really capable of when working beyond the confines of our own limited imaginations. 

Try to think of it this way: short-term prayers are like ordering off the menu at a fast food drive-thru. Long-term prayers are like going to a five-star restaurant and asking the chef to surprise you. One is going to satisfy your needs in the moment, the other is going to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Neither is wrong or bad, but they are different.