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Sometimes the Universe sets us up to fail, and that is really BLEEPING annoying. Sometimes, things happen in our lives that feel really unfair, but if we look at all the moving parts and pieces, we often find synchronicity or lessons to be learned while sifting through the rubble of a bad time.

I can’t tell you the number of times I have walked unwittingly right into a nightmare, only to think, welp, I probably should’ve seen that coming once I was on the other side of it. The cynic in me wants me to blame myself. In reality, the Universe wanted me to see or experience something that was so painful, I finally learned my lesson or changed course as a result. 

People get preoccupied with the cruelty of God. If there really was a God, then there shouldn’t be any suffering seems to be the logic, as if God is a stewardess on a first class flight called life. In order to allow myself the opportunity to have faith in something, anything, I have had to strip away everything but the basic concept of Good. Do I believe in Good? Do I believe it happens in our lives? Do I believe I am worthy of Good things happening to me? Do I believe in bringing Good into my life if I focus on it and expect it and believe in it? These were the questions I started asking myself when I allowed myself the opportunity to just believe in something. It’s simple, nearly idiot proof, and it’s working for me. And I have made God and Good basically interchangeable as a gesture in letting my experiment in faith include a little zhuzh (God, I love that word). That’s all I want and need right now. I can’t really handle any more, because it’s proving to be more than enough.

I have been to lots of different churches in my life trying to connect with faith and God. I have tried spiritual programs in recovery and meditation. Faith only started working for me when I cut out all the formality all together and just allowed myself to believe. 

But back to the matter at hand. We’re going to step in some BLEEP on this journey called life. We are going to have people betray us or disappoint us. We are going to disappoint others. The harm comes in the form of self-flagellation and picking a path based on the opinions of others, rather than on the reality of ourselves. The hardship is often in focusing on the negative, lacking faith, and envisioning only a miserable future. Faith in Good offers an alternative to all that.

It helps us find meaning in the hardship. It helps us bear witness to betrayal or heartbreak, then learn and grow from it, rather than asking why while doing nothing different. Faith doesn’t necessarily change anything around us, but it has the potential to change us, our relationship with ourselves, and our experience of the journey.