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Like it or not, hardship is an opportunity for us to build our faith. It’s a chance for us to double-down on our belief system, and believe even more in Good. I used to get really annoyed at sayings like “God doesn’t give us anymore than we can handle” because the cynic within me always had a snarky response. My BLEEP God doesn’t.
But it’s kind of true, just like all the other idioms that start out as expressions but are so true they catch on and become culturally permanent. One of the wonders (and great misfortunes, perhaps) of the human experience is we can actually handle a great deal. The problem arises when our extraordinarily capable, potent brains start telling us that we can’t.
I can’t handle this.
I am not enough.
I am not good enough.
I am not smart enough.
I am not attractive enough.
I don’t know what to do.
This won’t work out.
They are going to leave me.
We are incredibly good at making ourselves feel terrible, at scaring the BLEEP out of ourselves, at talking ourselves out of opportunities or hard work or living life to the fullest.
I could get into the why, but often it’s different for each and every one of us. Either it’s our questionable parentage, a traumatic experience, a cultural problem, or any number of things in between. But the fact of the matter is we don’t have to do this to ourselves and there is another way.
To a certain extent, if you think about it, fear or anger are belief systems, just like faith is. It takes practice and commitment to be afraid or get angry. We have to wholeheartedly believe something bad is about to happen or someone wronged us in order to make decisions based on those beliefs or really get our heart rates up.
The same is true for having faith - it takes practice and commitment. It takes regular prayer, meditation, and near constant reframing of perceptions, actions, choices.
There’s lots of scientific research out there to support a negativity bias in the brain that has to do with basic human survival. I can’t imagine that those Neanderthals who encountered sabertooth tigers and thought, “hey, look at that big fluffy kitty. It looks so cute, I want to pet it” survived very long out there in the wilderness, which is unfortunate.
Some might argue that walking around now, seeing the best in people and believing that everything will work out is like asking to be taken advantage of or marginalized or treated poorly. Is it still a dog-eat-dog world? Maybe.
I don’t think I am advocating for acting like a doormat. In fact, people who have confidence and faith in their future are probably more likely to stick up for themselves or even leave a negative situation, rather than staying put because they are afraid they may not find anything better.
The point I am trying to make is that none of us are going to be the LeBron James of having faith if we do not practice, practice, practice. Lord knows we’ve spent lifetimes committed to being negative, what would happen if we practice for the same game in a different way?
Instead of just saying “I quit” when confronted with a real challenge, we stay and play, because we know, win or lose, triumph or heartbreak, we always have something to gain from it, because we have faith.