On Self-Acceptance

The critical component of self-acceptance is that, to a certain extent, if we cannot accept ourselves and the here and now, then we are all spending at least some of our time disassociating. Trying to be somewhere else. Thinking life should be better or different or easier or more wonderful. Wishing we had done things differently (in the past) or imagining a dismal future. If we do not love and accept ourselves, if we do not enjoy our own present moment, and we cannot fathom a future that is bright, then we may spend a lot of time and energy trying to be elsewhere, trying to be someone we are not, trying to escape the reality of ourselves and our existence. 

I think the willingness to believe in God as Good and just pure Love is the first step on a path to building the kind of faith that allows us to sit still long enough to forgive and love ourselves totally unconditionally. It creates real peace and some semblance of safety where we get to really define ourselves and our purpose, without fear of judgment or fleeing to some other place or some other self. 

This has never occurred to me before, but this feels so important. Never before had I considered that the time I have spent wishing I was elsewhere or believing that my life should be different has been a way to avoid myself. It has been an expression of my own lack of self-acceptance. 

Now that I have a little bit of faith, I am more optimistic about the future and I find myself thoroughly enjoying myself in the here and now (which reminds me of a silly bit from Austin Powers). It’s leading me to a place not just of self-acceptance, but of self-appreciation. This, in turn, makes me less prone to seek attention or engagement elsewhere, and more excited and invested in the life and future I envision for myself. I’m also more protective of myself and my own best interests.

It’s strange, because having faith feels very future oriented, but in my experience thus far it also appears to be establishing a baseline for enjoying the here and now. It’s like I like myself and my life much more, and therefore I don’t feel driven to see if anything (a place, a person, a dream, a fear) is more occupying elsewhere.

And most importantly, I feel like the Good in life can finally come to me, rather than me restlessly searching for it, and I have faith that all in good time, it will.