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It seems important for me to document any evidence I see in my life of faith working in my life. That is essentially what this blog is all about, after all. Like most Americans, I have financial hardships for a variety of reasons, so one of the things I pray about regularly is money. Most of my prayers are vague but hopeful, and include a lot of “please help me with X.” 

While there is a lot of language related to manifesting, intention, and abundance in popular self-help material out there in the world right now, some of it can feel a little blamey, for lack of a better word. It can start to feel like if you’re not toxically positive or praying in the right way, that will keep you poor, lonely, or otherwise in the doldrums. I do think its important to be positive and have faith, but I also regularly feel glimmers of doubt or fear, and I think that’s okay. 

Getting into a cycle of fear and blame about faith, i.e., the fear of doing faith itself wrong, is probably the least productive thing we can do. That’s like getting mad at ourselves for getting happiness wrong, which is not the point of any of this. We all know we’re “bad” at happiness or hope or faith, otherwise we wouldn’t be here, reading this blog. It’s okay, in fact it’s perfectly normal and part of the process, to have doubts, as long as we see them and follow them up with a hopeful prayer. 

I do occasionally pray to ask Good (or God) to remove any blockages I have to receiving money, like an act of sweeping the floor before a guest stops by. I don’t have to pretend my house is perfect for anyone, but I do like to tidy up occasionally, so to speak, as a reminder to acknowledge any resources I receive, be grateful for them as an expression of faith, and as a gesture in paying attention. 

The past few weeks, I have really ramped up my prayer related to finances. I’m just tired of worrying about them now and I have big, hopeful plans for the future. And, heck, this is my grand experiment, right? So, I felt at liberty to tackle one of the big stressors. I’ve prayed for miracles in other arenas of my life recently, why not this one, too? 

Well, today my prayer was answered in a shockingly big way. I won’t go into details, but I received an unexpectedly large amount of money from a random source in my life. It’s not going to solve all of my problems, but it will solve a lot of them, and I am in shock. I am just shocked. This is shocking. God is Good. I’m not about to even try to attribute it to anything else. 

The cynics out there will have lots of ways to try and call BULLBLEEP on this spiritual experience of mine, and I’m going to let them. I don’t have a lot of time or energy for disbelievers at the moment. If they want to stay in darkness and doubt, they can. For those of you interested, curious, open, hopeful, and willing to consider believing regardless of all your doubt, welcome and, please, keep reading. 

I am here to attest that faith doesn’t have to be complicated. Good (or God) has worked in magnificent, magical, and spiritual ways in my life and even more so when I started actively believing in and engaging with it. This is just a record of those happenings. I encourage you to try it, too.

It’s okay to start small. There will be fits and starts, doubt, confusion, and misgivings. You will still endure pain, but you will start to endure it differently and, more importantly, learn more from it. It’s not going to make sense all at once, but if you just start and keep trying, I assure you big things can happen to you, too. 

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