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I have been doing a lot of praying lately. I have been walking around imagining things just work out, even if the outcomes I receive are not those I imagined. I’m just testing out having absolute blind faith, and as a sentient human being, I am at least vaguely aware that this sounds a little Looney Tunes, but so does worrying about everything all the time. 

I am really enjoying letting Good get involved to sort things out for me. 

Worrying about the future? Say no more, God will sort it out! 

Regrets from the past? Talk to Good, the Universe has a plan. 

I sound like I’m being sarcastic, but I am not. I am leaning pretty hard into believing things can and will pan out, no matter what. The cynic in me thinks this unfettered faith might as well have the same effect as believing in ghosts (NOT a fan). For people like me, who were raised to worry, fear, and natter over everything that could possibly go wrong, believing in things working out or going right or people showing up in times of need kind of feels, sounds, and looks like absolute insanity. 

The hardest part is in-the-moment faith. When fear bubbles up or people tell us something we don’t want to hear or our expected outcomes do not pan out, its easy to follow the rabbit down into the dark. It’s really easy to go there. The dark is so potent, both internally via a set of physiological symptoms known as fight-flight-or-freeze and externally in the shape of media (negative messaging is so prevalent), tainted attitudes or interactions with others, policies and practices in public and private spheres that create four new problems while trying to solve one. When religious or spiritual frameworks talk about living in the light or actually being the light itself, that’s because the struggle is real. Sometimes, it feels like Lord Vader has won. 

Humanity has been telling itself stories about good vs. evil for centuries, literally since the dawn of humankind, either in fiction, non-fiction, or spiritual texts (see the work of Joseph Campbell). We spend a lot of time (and these days money on blockbuster movies) warning each other and ourselves about the powers of the Dark Side and the extraordinary feats it requires to have faith, stay in the light, and fight for the Rebellion.

Now, back to the BLEEPshow at hand (i.e., my life). Recently, I realized I have been trying to force something that just can’t be forced. Thanks to faith, I feel vaguely serene about all of it, and that’s a testament to the power of believing in Good.