This is Dumb

Or at least, that’s what the cynic within would have me believe.

Every time I put my hands together or even just think a dream or goal or wish or prayer in my head, some voice within answers with: Yeah, right.

Well, okay then, sunshine.

But now, when cynicism, skepticism, judgment or doubt has a crummy, unhelpful answer to a moment of hope, I just proceed regardless, because I’ve gotten enough positive, reinforcing, upward spiral going that I am convinced I am allowed to have faith. I believe I should have faith, that the more I keep believing in Good or God (just call it whatever you like to get where you need to be), the better things will get.

It’s hard to have faith or look forward to the future, especially when we’ve been burned before. But it’s also really hard to keep making the same mistakes or wallowing around in our own swill of misery, convinced our lives will never be different. Both are hardships, but they are hardships of a much different kind.

Personally, I am tired of wallowing in the pigsty that is negativity. I’ve been there, done that, and didn’t like it. I imagine, if you’re here reading this post and you made it to paragraph 4 (well done, good on you, happy to have you here), then something inside of you is also saying, enough already with the misery. There has to be another way.

Well, I’m here to report that I’m pretty sure there is. I am definitely not an expert when it comes to faith and prayer, but I am certainly here to experiment with you. Putting our hands together and saying a prayer IS kind of dumb. It’s a little batBLEEP. It’s nonsensical, definitely contested by the scientific community, fantastical, and vague, but I just don’t even care anymore. I want to be happy. I want to trust myself, others, the process, and the future. I want to believe Good has a seat reserved for me on this magical carpet ride we call life, and just based on what I’ve learned so far, I’m pretty sure there’s a seat for you, too.