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I am going to say something that will probably irritate or anger at least several people and perhaps many, but I have also heard that I have to be prepared for criticism if I plan to have a voice and use it. Not everyone is going to agree with me all the time, and that’s okay with me now (it wasn’t always, which is probably another symptom of faithlessness I need to explore). 

It sort of seems like anger, doubt, and pessimism, which are all branches of the same tree, are basically belief systems just like faith is. We can choose to be critical and skeptical and faithlesss or we can choose to be forgiving and optimistic and faithful. Obviously it’s not that easy or simple, but also… I hate to say it, but it kind of is.

Many people feel like they have no choice in the matter, and that’s partially true. We live in particularly Godless (or Goodless) times. As a species, we spend a lot of time squabbling over who’s definition of God is right, unwilling to acknowledge what seems to be a very obvious paradox: we probably all have it a little bit right and a little bit wrong. God, by definition, is beyond our capacity of understanding, that’s why it requires faith to believe. 

Any attempts to capture God (or Good) into a strict set of rules for belief, faith, or right action inherently creates an in-crowd and an out-crowd, which is the antithesis of the spiritual experience. God (or Good) in my view, must be available to us all at all times. That is the point of prayer, to connect with Good (or God) in a moment of need, tap into something other than ourselves to solve a problem, and get some relief. To make that moment of contact based on a strict set of rules of engagement is basically just human gatekeeping. 

I sound like I am criticizing all religions. Maybe I am. The audacity, eh? My only criticism is that humans appear to have the cojones (not to be confused with cajones, which apparently means drawer in Spanish) to assume that one strict rule set defined by a regional people is the pathway to connection with God for the entire world.

I happen to believe it goes the other way around: God (or Good) comes first, then religion offers rules to live by for all who might be interested. And there are many, many, many people who benefit from a rule set, particularly one linked to the culture in which they live, which is why I am loathe to judge that need/desire/urge.

But there are many, many, many others who do not, who feel left out or disconnected or not allowed to have faith. If you are one of those faithless many, this writing is for you. Let’s get you connected to Good (or God) first, then feel free to go forth and find a religious framework that speaks to you. 

Meanwhile, the world over seems to be covered in people very devoted to angry, critical, hopeless, divisive beliefs. These days, there seem to be many, many sides to every argument and very few solutions.

While I think evaluating information and making an informed choice (I tried to avoid information/informed but sometimes being redundant is the best choice), I also think we’ve taken “critical thinking” much too far and far too literally. It has all but erased spirituality, connectedness, forgiveness, and live-and-let-live from the human experience. We are obsessed with the world being better or different, forgetting how magnificent it already is. 

Based on my own life experience, I am a much more useful, productive, contributing member of society with faith than without it. Faithlessness all but left me useless, selfish, unwilling and unable to see the forest through the trees, and paralyzed by anxiety, fear, and anger.

Now, I feel generous, open, optimistic, forgiving, more willing and able to give my fellow humans the benefit of the doubt, and much more useful to society. I have goals and dreams and I know they will work out - not in the way I plan, but in ways beyond my capacity to understand. I am very okay with sitting in that uncertainty and willing to see how it plays out, all because little, constant, dedicated leaps of faith I have been taking in the form of prayer, patience, trial and error have paid off with solutions I could not possibly have imagined on my own. 

Just recently I prayed for help in healing one of the most contentious relationships in my life, which has been difficult from the start. I have been angry at my mother since birth, as far as I can tell, and it has been incredibly painful for both of us. God (or Good) and prayer have solved so many other problems in my life, all of them smaller by comparison, I felt willing to try and tackle a big one with faith.

So, I prayed for help. That’s it. No specifics. Just Please help me with my mother. I want to love her but I don’t know how. And a few days later, I mustered up the energy and courage to call her and approach her anew. Instead of with judgment, frustration, or irritation, which has been par for the course for several decades, I tried curiosity instead. I asked her a lot of questions about herself, her life, her motherhood, and her own mother. With that curiosity, I was able to collect a little more understanding of her and a little softening in my own soul. 

Did that one conversation solve everything? BLEEP no!

But I think understanding is on the path to forgiveness, which may be a gateway to freedom from all this stress and pain between us. The point of this is that an act of faith released me from some of my anger, and I am SO grateful.

I share this story in case you, Dear Reader, are mired in a belief system that doesn’t serve you very well. If you have tried one and it’s not working, perhaps it’s time to try another.