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The repercussions of having and building faith are fascinating. It’s not just about believing that things will work out in our favor, that Good is on our side, or that we are worthy of all Good things. So far, my experience has been as follows: I became sort of fed up with intermittently trying to believe and worrying my BLEEP off about everything in my life. I decided to just throw caution to the wind and believe wholeheartedly, no matter what, as an experiment.
Since then, a lot has happened to confirm and grow my faith. My willingness to believe has increased and expanded. And I will acknowledge to any cynics out there that this could very well just be because I am consciously or unconsciously reframing circumstances, situations, and outcomes in my own brain and then just attributing them to a higher Good (or God) and in reality nothing mystical is happening, but WHO CARES? Seriously, who cares? Whether it is actually God working in my life or it’s just my brain performing gymnastics, I really do not care, because it’s working for me in ways nothing else has. It has added a layer of everything is going to be all right I have been searching for all my life.
The other, more interesting layer in all of this is the added benefits that come with feeling safer and more optimistic. I am less inclined to put up with bullBLEEP and more prepared to protect myself or create boundaries. I am more loving, open, and honest, because I feel more grounded in and worthy of Good. I feel like my dreams are real possibilities, so I make choices that feed a healthier, happier future. (As an aside, it occurred to me recently that so many people criticize others for making poor choices, being self-destructive, or for self-sabotaging, but if someone’s vision of the future is bleak, what would be the point of making good choices to uphold it?)
Have I become perfect and worry free overnight? Nope, ha, hilarious, definitely not. If anything, I’m more curious of and willing to explore my flaws, rather than avoiding, resisting, or denying them. I am less likely to paint behavior or choices as bad and more willing to try to dig around to discover the purpose or motive within them without judgment or criticism.
Is my life perfect? Far from it. In some ways, its more confusing than ever, because I have a whole new framework to incorporate into my modus operandi and a new set of skills to incorporate into my life (like watching, waiting, breathing, praying, meditating, believing, loving, trusting). I could spend another lifetime just learning about and exercising my faith, but at least it’s all something I look forward to.