8

Having faith is hard… and it isn’t. It’s actually kind of annoying how very simple it is, because the struggle without it is so exhausting. I am going through some BLEEP right now, and the cynic in me finds it sort of irritating how having faith in Good is actually helping me get through it.

Worried about whether or not I’m a decent parent? Refocusing on having faith, letting go of fears, and just savoring sitting beside my son on a sunny afternoon while we read books side-by-side works wonders. I don’t have to worry about BLEEP it turns out, because Good has got it covered.

Wondering how in the hell my recent breakup will get sorted out, if ever, and I have to say that praying to some nameless, faceless, blobular like energy that I have named Good and call God interchangeably and just deciding that the blob is going to figure it out for me, whether it takes days, months, or years, is way better than exhausting myself, punishing myself, punishing someone else, asking about the future, or talking about the past. Any of it, all of it, is solved by just deciding it’s going to work out in my favor, because now I believe in Good, no matter what.

I’m not gonna lie, it’s kinda BLEEPING creepy how well it works and how simple it is.   

I have a lot more time and energy on my hands for stuff like this (i.e., my goals and dreams), for my kid, for looking forward to the future, for making new friends, for putting my life in order. I have more patience and more time and more hope.

I kind of can’t believe it, but actually now I kind of do.