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Having faith is not the same as being happy all the time. Life is still hard. We still suffer losses, heartache, confusion, and uncertainty, especially in the early stages of building faith. I think that alone can give cynics cause to just not believe at all, but that strikes me as a bit foolish. Life is hard, so I might as well be miserable on top of it! That’s like saying we don’t like broccoli, so we might as well cover it with rotten cheese before we eat it. 

I think faith can become our first line of defense against hardship of any kind, but I think it takes a long time and concerted effort to program in a default setting in which our response is to turn to God (or Good) and have faith in times of need. 

Sometimes, it seems like the need itself is the issue. In Buddhist practices, attachment to anything is the root of all suffering. Meditation becomes a pathway to letting go of our obsession with material possessions and our proclivity for wishing things were better or different than they are. I saw a meme recently that read, what are you afraid of losing when nothing in the world actually belongs to you? which is similar to the expression, you can’t take it with you. We get so attached to our stuff, our things, even our fears and flaws and trauma. We want other people to act a certain way or give us certain kinds of love, forgetting that we all are just human beings. 

The Universe be like: Take it or leave it, sweethearts. And to a certain extent, life seems to be a matter of how well we take it and how well we leave it, ideally while being sweethearts to ourselves and each other. 

I saw something on Reddit recently that was very interesting. Of course I can’t find the original post now, but a user asked a question about what happened to people after they earned or otherwise came upon significant, life-changing wealth. Now, there’s no way to verify the veracity (verify the veracity? yeesh) of a Reddit post, but some people said they actually became more lonely, either because the friends they had before felt they didn’t measure up to their new financial circumstances and went away or people they considered friends began asking them for money or they didn’t completely trust the new friends they’d made. 

This is all anecdotal and not backed by empirical research, but perhaps it can be treated as a be careful what you wish for warning. There’s no promise that circumstances other than our own will make us happier. According to most therapeutic and spiritual frameworks, it seems the real burden of happiness lies within us, our point of view, our attitudes, our priorities, and our choices. While life isn’t about seeking perfection, it is often about embracing and honoring our true selves, and we do that through our beliefs and actions.  

In this grand experiment, I have come to believe that our relationship with God (or Good) helps us build a better world around and within us and build better futures, but I also don’t believe that happiness is inherently an inside job. I think we are collectively making ourselves and each other suffer a great deal when we act like happiness or contentment has to be constructed in a vacuum. We need more interdependence in our culture, not less. American individualism is making us all sick with stress, and in my view, it’s high time we admitted that it’s okay to need, want, and love other people and that they are allowed to need, want, and love us, too. The only caveat is that we have to accept ourselves and each other as imperfect beings as part of that admission.

I have been so rewarded in my search for faith in this lifetime. I had inklings of a spiritual presence (for lack of a better word) in my life in my twenties. It sounds silly to cynics, but every time I was in pain and asking the world why?, the wind would pickup and it still does. I have been shielded from harm and guided to powerful experiences by circumstances in undeniable ways many times in my life, but I never before allowed myself the luxury of real belief. Two years ago, I read a book that helped me start to believe in the Good of the Universe, and this blog is a record of real, day-to-day commitment to just having faith, come hell or high water. 

I am happy to report that I now have enough faith that it feels safe to let the Universe decide who I love in this lifetime and how I love them, be they friends, a partner, family, or members of my community. I use love in the broadest and most specific sense, whether it is just appreciation for their humanity as a colleague or it is my soulmate.

As part of this grand experiment, I want to see what God has got in store for me if I just operate with faith and follow Good’s guidance. I can see the flow state is working for me and with me, when I allow it to, and it comes up with solutions and new opportunities far better than those I might try to force on my own.