On Grief & God

I have been mulling over how faith and grief go together for a few weeks now, because it seems like a very common and very easy place for anyone who is trying to have faith to get totally stymied. Why the BLEEP would anyone want to believe in Good (or God), when death is so BLEEPING painful and so permanent? 

I think religions do some good for believers, especially when it comes to loss, but I also think the rigidity of religion can be an impediment for many people suffering who would benefit from a simpler form of faith. 

You want us to believe in a big bellied Buddha man who meditated so long he transcended human existence? 

We’re supposed to wave smoke around the church and pretend to eat the blood of who now exactly? 

How am I supposed to treat women? Yikes. 

Might I suggest that we have made spirituality a wee bit complicated through the formalities and somewhat puritanical expectations of many religions and thereby alienated so much of humanity, the same souls that God (or Good) is meant to serve or repair?

I am not interested in a debate about which religion is right or best. I understand the purpose they serve for many. I am more interested in those they do not serve. Because I have wandered into many a church searching for answers and found myself thinking man, this seems complicated. The buildings alone, while often impressive testaments to will, power, resources, and architecture seem a bit grandiose when compared to the field, clover, stream, or ocean. Sometimes it seems like God or Good or Existence has already done so much for us, and we’re still trying to one up it just because we can. 

I am aware I do not have all the answers. I only have one, and it’s the one that worked for me, which is that faith doesn’t actually have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to belong to a creed. It can just belong to us. It can just be the willingness to walk around in the world believing everything will work out for us, that Good is on our side, and that we deserve it as much as the next person, no matter how many mistakes we’ve made or what church we might or might not attend. 

But back to this question of grief. I want to give an answer that satisfies a wounded soul, and I’m not sure that I can. I recently experienced a loss in my life and it’s strange to think of this bright spirit absent from the world. I believe we are all allowed to believe in Good (or God), but also that there is plenty of darkness in this world, primarily because not enough of us believe in Good or have faith in it. 

Cancer is caused by an unfortunate cocktail of harmful agents in our environment, stress, and genetics. It seems like just one of many unfortunate expressions of darkness (or lack of Good) in this world. We have poisoned our environments in more ways than one, and then seem flabbergasted when many of us are getting sick. The many researchers, doctors, and caretakers fighting Cancer, as well as the souls who endure it, are an expression of light and Good. The same is true for mass shootings, which are a horrifying expression of a lack of Good in the hearts and minds of perpetrators, as is the fact that they continue unabated. 

Losing innocents to rage, fear, illness, or accident is heartbreaking for those they leave behind. I think the most healing path forward is to embrace Good (or God) to foster growth and change in our lives in whatever shape that takes, either for ourselves or for a cause we believe in.

Better that than sitting in the dark.