Faith It Till You Make It
“Fake it till you make it” is a common expression in recovery programs, which seems to have crossed over into the cultural lexicon. I have often tried to put it to good use in my own life, while also wondering what in the BLEEP it really means.
I think the point is to just act like we are happy or know what we’re doing or have faith until we actually start to believe it, but that is far easier said than done when living in misery of one kind or another.
Faking it till you make it is hard for many people, probably because it feels, well,… fake. This whole blog might be one big exercise in offering an edit to the expression. Rather than fake it till you make it, I genuinely think the expression should be “faith it till you make it.” And here’s why:
First of all, the word “fake” has a negative connotation. That alone can be off putting for many. Nobody wants to fake anything. We all want something we can dig our teeth into, and nobody wants to eat a pretend sandwich, whether it’s made of air or cardboard. The word “fake” suggests impermanence, suggests a temporary condition, suggests that it can end or cease or go away at any moment. That’s not what any of us are looking for when floundering around, drowning in pain. We want a rescue boat, not a mirage floating on the horizon.
Second, I think it’s hard to pretend to be happy if we don’t have a lot of faith in the future. What exactly is the point of faking anything if we lack belief in positive outcomes? Without faith, it’s pretty easy to walk around disconnected from purpose or meaning or dreams or goals, so what is the point of faking anything in order to make it… where exactly?
I get that the (impressive) founders of the Anonymous recovery groups (Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, etc.) wanted to get around the chicken or the egg question with this expression. Which comes first, acting like we believe in God or believing in God? Their answer, which has worked for many but not all, is to just act like we have faith until we start having it.
I would argue it’s okay to take it one step further. It’s okay to decide for ourselves that we have faith and then just operate as if we do, until we actually believe it. Instead of chicken OR the egg, it’s chicken AND the egg. The chicken and the egg both exist, who cares which comes first? What matters is we believe that faith is available to us, too.
I don’t think faith should be a fake exercise. I don’t think it’s enough to just play pretend. What matters is we are NOT faking it, at all. We’re choosing to believe something bigger than ourselves, Good or God, is available to serve our best interests and, regardless of how many reasons we have to lack faith, we’re going to BLEEPING do it anyway and see what happens.
The most interesting part in all of this is that as we operate more and more frequently with faith, through prayer, meditation, slowing down, paying attention, asking for what we want and need, trusting in God (or Good), and trusting in ourselves, we start to allow ourselves to have dreams and goals and purpose. We start to believe we are worthy of Good (or God), we start to make better choices, we start to learn lessons, we start to accomplish things. In other words, as we faith it, we actually start to “make it” in every area of our lives.
So, the next time we have doubt or worry or a decision to make, perhaps rather than faking belief in a power greater than ourselves, whether it be Good or God, perhaps we should just let ourselves have faith and start from there.