On Spiritual Blockage

Sometimes, the things we hold onto the tightest are the very things that are preventing growth and opportunity. Sometimes, the great love of our lives is the only thing standing between us and the most important thing we will ever learn about ourselves. Sometimes, we have to be strong enough to let someone or something go, in order to figure out we can live without it or them, thereby proving we were always worthy of that great love and always will be, should it ever return to us.

Sometimes, it absolutely will be returned to us in this lifetime, when we have reached a new phase of growth or change or faith, and sometimes, that most important thing in our lives served only as a stepping stone to something even more important, even more well suited, even more life changing, even more real. 

This is the trouble with having a lack of faith. We get attached to worldly possessions or people, thinking they are the solution, when the solution lies with Good (or God) alone. I hate the expression happiness is an inside job. My BLEEEEEEEEP it is. If happiness were something we all could magically wish upon ourselves at any given moment, we’d all be walking around naturally high as a BLEEPING kite, like one big intergalactic Phish concert. 

Sure, some of us are just born naturally predisposed to happiness. Some are taught by their parentage or environment to look at the bright side. Some of us cultivate optimism with practice over time. And some of us are so traumatized or so conditioned by upbringing, education, culture, or media that we couldn’t think our way out of a paper bag (hello, literally almost everyone). 

Does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy work? Yes, research shows that it does. 

Is there value to Positive Psychology? Absolutely, and again, research has been performed at the University of Pennsylvania to back that up. 

Do other forms of therapy have ways of helping people reframe problems or dig themselves out of a hole to find solid footing in the land of being well? Sure, no question. 

But I am talking about that pit of your stomach dread that things will never get better. I am talking about the relentless, gnawing fear of losing someone or something. I am talking about the in-between hours, when we’ve practiced our CBT or read our affirmations, and life still intervenes and we are just in a panic. 

Faith has served me in those hours in ways nothing else can. I am not perfect. I do dumb stuff all the time. I second-guess myself and God (or Good) on the regular. I compromise on my values and pray for things I don’t actually want or need. I falter in having faith all the time. But the fact of the matter is, I am praying way more than I was a year ago, heck even two months ago. The more I pray, the harder my life gets, but the stronger my resilience. I don’t worry about getting through something, I know I will now. I also instinctively turn more and more of it over to Good (or God) for better guidance and delivery than I could ever possibly muster on my own.  

I have endured real losses this year, but each time I suffer a loss, something even more incredible in my life arrives as recompense. I’m starting to suspect there is a correlation, like the old adage when one door closes, another one opens (insert massive eye roll here). It might be more like when you’re finally ready to close the door on that dark, chilly outhouse in woods that you’ve been hiding in for shelter from the elements, the door to this warm and cozy cabin with a fireplace and indoor plumbing will be available to you. Figure it OUT already.

Sometimes grief and loss is a precursor to super mega spiritual upgrades, y’all. Especially when God or Good, and prayer is involved. You don’t actually have to believe in it. Just the willingness to start asking for deliverance will get you delivered.