Sometimes, the Solution is Not the Solution Until It’s the Solution

Sometimes, the solution is not the solution until it’s the solution. What I mean by that is, the faithless (us, here, all together, hello, friends new and old) will resist faith until we just can’t anymore. And by the same token, we can have a solution sitting right in front of us for a very long time, but it’s only hardship and heartache that will change our perception of it from absolutely not to yes, please, I would like two helpings.  

And the most interesting thing is, the circumstances of the solution may not be right in our moment of resistance, only to change into the exact thing we need when we are prepared to see the solution for what it is. Experiences such as these are one of the many reasons I have faith. I can’t tell you how many times I have said NO to a situation, only for it to morph into exactly what I need when I am ready to receive it. 

We have to give in to God (or Good). Our will has to be broken, just smashed to smithereens. Everything, everything, everything has to go wrong, and it’s preferable (yes, I said preferable) if we were doing everything in our power to stop it. That’s what a bottom is. It’s giving up on life as we know it, our sense of self, our perceptions, and our “control” completely. 

For the most hopeless among us, that is often a very dark time with very dark urges. I encourage anyone experiencing profound hopelessness to call a suicide hotline immediately. The people doing that work are an expression of Good (or God) and they are doing God (or Good)’s work. If you need help, there is help, here on these pages but also just one phone call away (just dial 988).  

Some of us bring a little flame of hope with us into the dark. Some of us have to have it restored by the words of someone else reverberating around us, words that shake us to our core. Some of us just say BLEEP IT, and turn to God, as if Good (or God) was sitting on the bench, waiting to get called in to turn the tide of the game. 

I believe I fall into that last category. I am the starting pitcher on the mound having a bad night, but asking the coach to let me hurl in just one more pitch, even though my arm is rubber and I’ve got nothing left. I don’t want to sit down. I don’t want to watch God (or Good) strut in from the bullpen like the Wild Thing in Major League, fresh and ready to finish the game and win it all, even if God’s going to win the game for me and my whole team. In the game of life, some part of me has long thought I’ve got this, I’ll get the next one, even when I’m throwing absolute junk. 

There’s nothing wrong with a little fighting spirit. There’s nothing wrong with persistence. There’s something very important about resilience. But if all of that is done due to a lack of faith, it becomes something else all together. Desperation. Fear. Control. Resentment. Frustration. 

None of that is worth it and there IS another way. 

The fact of the matter is, most of us coming from a place of faithlessness have to spend a lot of time fighting faith before we turn to it. The solution is not the solution until it is the solution. We have to try all other avenues before we choose the easy street. We think, crikey, it can’t be that simple. But it is. And speaking from experience, all that chaos, confusion, heartbreak, and dysfunction is an important part of the process. All that chaos is actually an important part of building faith.