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When I was younger, I envied people born into faiths of various kinds. How wonderful it must be to have certain questions answered, to have instructions written down in a text that many others seemed to believe and follow. It sounded much simpler than the vague, atheist, try-to-do-good prescriptions my parents tried to bestow in me while smoking cigarettes, chopping wood, and listening to the Cure. It may have been naive of me, but I envied my buttoned up peers who went to church on Sundays and believed in heaven. It sure sounded nice to have answers and concrete directives. 

I try to avoid criticizing any faith, because it is a dangerous game, but I do think it is miraculous that each culture established by humanity sought and found an expression of faith that have extraordinary similarities. We all came up with similar stories, even if the telling is different. That tells me there is some baseline truth or need within all of us, and so that is what I have tried to focus on when establishing my own sense of faith. 

This is my record of attempting to live as if I believe in something bigger than myself. I am documenting my experience for others who are seeking faith in Good, for those who also want or need to believe that things will work out with a little faith and trust. There are some who believe vehemently that religion is the opiate of the masses and that it is used to placate the poor, to keep us all working while we believe in a better day, which comes in the form of a granted prayer or an afterlife, rather than by amassing in protest against our oppressors. 

God, I hope not. I’m willing to bet that having faith in a Universal Good does not actually mean living in servitude. In fact, that cannot be. Righteous faith in the betterment of humanity in the name of Good means helping others, advocating for the fallen, doing more and better for our downtrodden brothers and sisters, and we could all probably be doing more. In fact, I think the less faith we have in Good (or God) collectively, the less Good we can do for each other. I’m willing to bet, deep down, we all have that version of faith sitting within us, regardless of creed. 

So, here I sit at my desk, the sunlight blasting me straight in the eyeballs as I write this, another simple sign that this task is useful, and Good, and a conduit to something more, to doing more and better, and I’ll take it over one more day wallowing in the dark.