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A lot of people think that positive people or faithful people are “toxically positive.” After a brief search, it sounds like that means a variety of things, including being naive, invalidating of other people’s hardships, willfully ignorant of the harsh realities of the world, or walking around with blinders on. That all may be true in some instances, but I do not believe that’s what I am advocating here.
Faith, if anything, has fortified my constitution against some realities and negativities in life in the way nothing else has. I used to walk around like a raw nerve, negative and frustrated, unable to stick up for myself or discern the difference between good and bad. Everything felt like BLEEP and I was exhausted, while overworking myself to death to prove myself to others while doing work I hated. Needless to say, it was a bad time.
Since actively experimenting with having faith in Good (or God, call it what you will), the following things have happened:
I enjoy my life more, because I see the Good (or God) in it, regularly communicate with God (or Good) about my hopes, fears, and dreams through prayer, and see results of those prayers
I believe I am allowed to set boundaries with (or remove) toxic people from my life, because I have faith that God (or Good) will provide more opportunities with other people more aligned with me and my attitude, constitution, goals, and future
I allow myself to have dreams, goals, and a vision for the future, while knowing that things will pan out in ways I cannot possibly imagine, but I am prepared to be grateful for the Good and view any negativity or unanticipated outcomes as important lessons to be learned
I am more open to chance, not really knowing what might happen next, and more excited about the future because it’s highly likely I will enjoy it or at least learn something new
There are other things that I can’t think of right now, but this one is relevant to this writing;
I am actually more willing to look at harsh realities in my life and accept them, rather than walking around lying to myself about X, Y, or Z.
Some examples:
Accepting that an incredibly important relationship will NEVER work out for me, no matter how hard I might work on it or how much I might want it in my life.
Accepting that friendships are imperfect, I don’t have control over others, and people will disappoint me.
Accepting that some family will NEVER be the family I need them to be, and while I can offer some forgiveness, I don’t have to be a saint or tolerate abuse in the name of blood.
Thanks to faith, I have the strength now to endure disappointments, make the most of complicated situations, and walk away if people are asking too much while giving too little.
You’ll notice the word accept repeated in that list, and it’s a powerful word. Acceptance is like staring a hardship in the face and being unafraid. It’s about shedding denial and confronting reality, rather than walking around thinking It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine or I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine when we are definitely not fine. That’s what I imagine toxic positivity to be - just steeped in denial.
Faith is something else entirely. If anything, it gives us the strength to lift the veil, get a good look at the realities of our life, set to work praying for change, relief, growth, or anything else God (or Good) may have to offer on the subject, and accept hardships as lessons we need to learn or strength we need to cultivate, rather than punishments or judgments of our value or character or worth.
So, I do not equate having faith with toxic positivity. If anything, faith has become the one thing that made me strong enough to be realistic, to embrace uncertainty, to overcome denial.
As usual, five stars, highly recommend.