When Something Terrible Happens

When something terrible happens, the most important question we need to ask ourselves is: What Good can come of this? 

When we go through trials, large or small, the inclination is to ask “Why God?! Whhhhhyyyyy?!” or worse, use it as a reason to stop believing in Good (or God) all together.

This is going to annoy the BLEEP out of the cynics and the traumatized alike, but when we ask the question of Why, God? there is always an answer. 

Losing a loved one teaches us about the value of life. Through our grief, we honor their presence on this planet.

Getting fired may be God (or Good) telling us to finally start doing the work we know we are meant to do. 

Heartbreak teaches us we need to learn more about love, whether it is how to love ourselves more fully or how to love others differently (usually it’s both). 

Deeply traumatic experiences can teach us about resilience, how to reach out for help when we need it, who we can trust when there are people or systems we cannot, how to help others who have endured the same pain, how to make a difference in this world, and how to care for our wounds. 

Trauma can teach us a great deal, if we are willing. 

Many, many, many of us faithless creatures are walking around endlessly doomsday prepping. And, Lawd, is it tiring. No matter what kind of crisis we imagine, we spend a lot of time and energy getting ready for it (meanwhile, we’re never ready) and we think we have a good plan for how to handle it when it happens (we don’t). 

Meanwhile, the mere act of trying to control outcomes or predict the future means we inherently believe that we cannot handle things as they naturally, organically, normally appear in our lives. Good or bad, we’re not ready. We lack faith in ourselves, in others, in the future, and usually for good reason. 

It’s easy to lose faith in humanity through trauma, be it in childhood or adulthood. Humanity has a lot of extra dumb, but best laid plans for managing millions of us with computers, to our collective detriment. It’s pretty easy to be jaded, bitter, cynical, anxious, and depressed.

And even while we are obsessing over the worst case scenarios that suck up all the oxygen and lifeblood of our lives, we forget that life continues on after every disaster and there are always silver linings. There are always opportunities to make meaning and grow beyond the hardship. Some of you will be annoyed with me for saying that out loud, but it’s true.

So, the next time the BLEEP hits the fan, try to slow down, center yourself, meditate, pray, and ask yourself “What Good can come of this?”

And then start looking around for an answer.